Some real characters

Just for my own happy memories (and maybe your amusement), I felt I should record some of things that my students have said and done over the past couple of weeks. These things have often shocked, surprised, or worried me…but always made me laugh! Ok, here we go…

Base-school boy 1

This kid is hilarious. He is one of my first years at my base school, and from day one has always felt very comfortable in trying to talk to me. His English is not as good as other students in the class, but he always gives it a go, and does so with great humour. For the past few weeks, the students at this school have been working on speeches (‘My Dream’) for their speaking test. In the first class, I walked around watching the students thinking about what they would talk about, and stopped occasionally to ask them one-on-one what their dream was. I asked Mr Baseball…to which he tightly screwed up his face, but continued to grin, and confidently stated ‘my dream is to be……girl’s nurse.’ Now, I’m not sure if he just meant he wants to be a nurse…or if he meant a nurse for girls….or a gynacologist…or what….but he was obviously being a little bit cheeky, because when I asked him ‘why?’, he replied ‘because I like girls.’ I was surprised by this career choice (but not his reasoning), and so I said ‘really?’. He then informed me that he actually wants to be a police officer who drives fast cars. He didn’t tell me that in English…he instead did a wonderfully vivid mime of being in a fast car, screeching though streets, turning corners, the noises….the lot! Fantastic! When he finally gave his speech this week in class…..what did he talk about?....nursing?....driving?...no, according to his speech he now wants to be a cook! Hey, at least he’s leaving himself lots of options!
In the same class as our conversation about being a ‘girl’s nurse’..he also confided in me that he has a girlfriend…and she’s a second year!! Wow…scandal! He broached the subject with me by asking me how old I was when I had my first kiss. I told him it was none of his business…but then realised that perhaps he was asking for a reason. So, I went on to ask him ‘when was your first kiss?’…to which he said ‘today….2 hours later.’ My skill in deciphering broken English is pretty damn good now, and I realised that he meant that his first kiss was going to be that day, 2 hours after our class! Ah, bless him! He was going to meet his girlfriend after school, and they were going to have their first kiss. So cute, and so funny that he’d already planned it! I then asked him how long they had been seeing each other….and (I think it was this long…it was a couple of weeks ago…my memory has faded a bit)…he replied 4 months!! 4 months and no snog! I asked my supervisor later if this was normal in Japan, and she told me it wasn’t. So, he is obviously a complete gentleman…and maybe also a teeny bit terrified! I saw him the next day, and he gave me the thumbs-up, so it looks like everything went according to plan! So sweet that he felt he could just tell me about this big ‘secret’, and his mates looked impressed that he was managing to have a conversation in English with me about his girlfriend. I’ll be sad when I have my last lesson with his class.

The Tabuse boys

I have written about my students at my school in Tabuse before, but they never cease to amaze me with their random comments, choice nuggets of English, and ridiculous hairstyles!! Last week they had to do a speaking test also, and were practicing a dialogue that they would then come out on the corridor and run through with me, one-on-one. As I entered the classroom that morning, they were all their usual noisy selves, and had made the decision that the class should only be conducted in English. They therefore were attempting to speak to one another in ‘teacher’ English, using phrases such as “sit down please”, “good morning class”, and “open your textbook” as greetings to one another! It was really quite surreal!

The speaking tests themselves were a real mixed bag, ranging from students who had learnt and could adapt the dialogue perfectly, to students who looked like their whole world would come tumbling down if I tried to speak one more word of English to them! Some of my favourite moments were ;

- Mr Mori shaking my hand at the end of his test-time (bless him!).

- Mr Mizuki doing a pretty good test, and evidently realising that he’d done well, and so giving me a high-five! He then went back into the classroom and proclaimed rather happily that he had touched me!!

- Watching one of the kids and wondering if he will grow up to be some kind of silent killer or assassin! He’s one of those boy who is very quiet…looks confused by the whole concept of learning another language…has a glazed /sedated look on his face…and …wait for it…has long fingernails! I cannot stand long nails on men…it freaks me out! To me it is a sign of being a little un-hinged, and having the potential to become a killer!! Haha! So, all the time I was trying to do his speaking test with him, I was also writing a bestselling thriller novel in my head!

- One boy who didn’t quite understand what he was supposed to do! He didn’t even look in the bag, and started to describe his own object that he had thought of…turned out to be a red clock!

- And my favourite moment…Mr Kawakami. The speaking test was a dialogue on descriptions. There were 5 bags…in each bag there was an object (triangle, CD, ball, orange, mobile phone). Students had to choose a bag, look inside, and I had to ask questions to guess what is was (although I obviously knew the options!). The conversation had to start with the students saying ‘Guess what’s in my bag”…however, this students’ dialogue went as follows ;
Student – Guess what’s in my orange.
Me (stifling giggles) – Hmmmm….Is it round?
Student – No, it isn’t…it’s orange
Me (trying to stop smirking) – What’s it made of?
Student – Orange
Me (already knowing what the answer to this one will be) – What’s is used for?
Student – eat…orange.
Me (relieved it’s all over!) – Is it an orange?
Student (now smiling) – yes!

Oshima girls

The first year girls at my school on Oshima love me!! Plain and simple! They screech my name in the corridor, as they enter class, when they see me at the bus-stop etc etc. One girl in particular seems to have taken a liking to me, and insists on shouting ‘kawaii’ (cute) all the way through the lesson at me, as well as stroking my hair, asking me about my earrings, asking me about love, boyfriends, and sex, and finally last week the weirdest question of all ‘do you wear a bra in bed?’ Yeah, I’m a little bit scared of her now!! In the class last week, the students had to make Valentines cards. They weren't supposed to be for me…but a couple of the girls did present me with their cards at the end of class. Most of them were just cute, sweet cards. But this particular girl also gave me one….which had my name scrawled all over it, had love hearts, she had addressed it to ‘my girlfriend, roren’…and then she had drawn a poo on the back. Yep, nothing says romance like a green turd on your valentines card! A little weird, to say the least…but a nice anecdote all the same…especially since I wont be visiting that school after march!

Base school boy 2

There is one boy in class 1-5 who has recently started showing amazing interest in English. He was always good at it, and never looked bored or anything in class, but over the last few weeks, he has started coming for chats with me, and showing enormous enthusiasm for furthering his English study. First of all, he asked me to recommend some English books for him to read. When I asked him what kind of books he was interested in, he replied ‘anything..I want to read the classics’. I was impressed, tried to suggest some titles for him. Then, he started to discuss the language used in English-speaking movies. We chatted about ‘The Incredibles’…he asked me about the use of certain phrases in the film, and then let me borrow the dvd so we could talk about it further.

Finally, last week in class, in the ‘my dream’ speaking test, his ability and ease amazed me. Whilst most of the students gave quiet, simple, yet technically accurate speeches, he gave an amazingly natural, funny, and fluent speech, which even included some ad-libbing! He used the board to draw chemical symbols (his dream it to be a scientitst), and just as a teacher would, he picked out students from the class to answer his questions. It was hilarious to watch, as it was so unexpected to see this 16 year old kid speaking in English in such a comfortable and comedic way. He later described chemical symbols as ‘cute, pretty and elegant’ which I also found funny! It goes without saying that I gave him full points. He was great! At the end of the class he came to talk to me and confided in me that he plans to go to America to study when he finishes high school, and therefore he knows he has to study English hard! It’s great that he has such a high, yet achievable aim, and it’s lovely for me to see a student enjoying my subject so much!


I wanted to document all of these kids here, so I will remember them in years to come…and also, if I ever decide to write a book about school in Japan, then I have some characters all ready for the page!